FOR SURVIVORS

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FOR SURVIVORS
  • Sexual assault does happen, and it is a time that is frightening, confusing and generally full of emotions for the victim/survivor. Each individual has the right to accept or refuse sexual contact at his or her discretion; and no one deserves to be sexually assaulted.
  • Both males and females have equal ability and responsibility to control their sexual behavior and actions. (The survivor is not responsible for the assailant’s actions.)
  • Sexual assault is a violent crime and is often premeditated.
  • Each survivor of sexual assault is a separate individual having distinct and separate needs and should be treated accordingly. There is no uniformly accepted “normal” reaction to sexual assault.
Remember, YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME, even if:
  • Your attacker was an acquaintance, date, friend or spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend, parent, sibling, guardian, other relative, professor, coach, or even employer.
  • You have been sexually intimate with that person or with others before.
  • You were drinking or using drugs.
  • You froze and did not or could not say “no” or were unable to fight back physically.
  • You were wearing clothes that others may see as seductive.
  • You said “yes” but later said “no” and were not listened to.
Self-Care for Survivors

When learning to survive a traumatic experience, taking care of yourself is very important. Preventing undue stress and emotional over-load must be your priority. Here is a list of things that might be helpful for you:

  • Get support from friends and family – try to identify people you trust to validate your feelings and affirm your strengths and avoid those who you think will deter your healing process.
  • Talk about the assault and express feelings – choose when, where, and with whom to talk about the assault, and set limits by only disclosing information that feels safe for you to reveal.
  • Use stress reduction techniques – strenuous exercise like jogging, aerobics, walking; relaxation techniques like yoga, massage, music, hot baths; prayer and/or meditation.
  • Maintain a balanced diet and sleep cycle as much as possible and avoid overusing stimulants like caffeine, sugar, and nicotine.
  • Discover your playful and creative “self”. Playing and creativity are important for healing from hurt. Find time for noncompetitive play – start or resume a creative activity like piano, painting, gardening, handicrafts, etc.
  • Take “time outs.” Give yourself permission to take quiet moments to reflect, relax and rejuvenate – especially during times you feel stressed or unsafe.
  • Try reading. Reading can be a relaxing, healing activity. Try to find short periods of uninterrupted leisure reading time.
  • Consider writing or keeping a journal as a way of expressing thoughts and feelings.
  • Release some of the hurt and anger in a healthy way: Write a letter to your attacker about how you feel about what happened to you. Be as specific as you can. You can choose to send the letter or not. You also can draw pictures about the anger you feel towards your attacker as a way of releasing the emotional pain.
  • Hug those you love. Hugging releases the body’s natural pain-killers.
  • Remember you are safe, even if you don’t feel it. The sexual assault is over. It may take longer than you think, but you will feel better.

CHILD ABUSE FAQS

What should I do if I suspect a child is being abused?

Call both local law enforcement and the Department of Child Safety when abuse is suspected. Arizona Child Abuse Hotline 1-888-SOS-CHILD (1-888-767-2445)

What do I do if a child tells me they have been sexually abused?
  • Stay calm and listen carefully. Encourage the child to speak freely, but do not ask detailed questions about the abuse.
  • Reassure the child. Tell the child that you believe him or her, that telling you was the right thing to do, and that he or she has not done anything wrong.
  • Take action. Call the DCS hotline immediately: 1-888-767-2445. Also call local law enforcement.
It is not your responsibility to investigate abuse, interview the child or get all the facts. Just contact the authorities with what you know or suspect so that children and families get the support and care they need.
How do I know a child is telling the truth about abuse?
Children seldom lie about abuse. If a child discloses abuse, report what you know to the authorities; they will determine the facts and evidence. In rare instances when a child does lie about abuse, it can be an indication that something else is wrong.
Why don’t children tell?
There are many reasons why children may not disclose abuse. Because most abusers have a close relationship with the child and his or her family, the child may worry about getting their abuser or themselves in trouble. Many abusers make threats to ensure that victims do not tell. Victims may also be ashamed or fear that no one will believe them. Remember, children often indicate something is wrong through behaviors, not words.
Can children recover from the trauma of abuse?
Yes. Most children are very resilient. The most important things to help children heal from abuse are having supportive caregivers and access to appropriate resources.